Secret notes taken from a high-level fruit official

The fruits and Illuminati are obviously not of this world. According to some notes found by Mike Hock in Britain, they are from a planet about four miles away from our own. They have used secret fruity invisibility spells to conceal it from our eyes. However, they don't know much about Earth--here's a lot of things they think are true you can take advantage of in order to pull the wool over their eyes in a pinch. These have been translated from French to Italian, from Italian to Portuguese, from Portuguese back into French, from French into Swedish, and from Swedish into English.

• Bathtubs can be used as boats in a pinch
• Never look at a carton of orange juice. It says "concentrate" on it, and you'll have to keep staring at it to blend in with normal people
• Another word for jet ski is "boatercycle"
• If somebody says "it's chili outside," bring a bowl, chili is a very popular Earth food
• Laser hair removal is when robots get their laser hair removed
• Need to take the 44? Take the 22 twice--22 times 2 is equal to 44
• Beware when eating the popular Earth snack, M&M's. If one has a W instead of an M, it is poisonous
• Bring a large spoon to the Superbowl--it's more than super